It is the first question we ask when we meet someone new. And it is the last question we want to be asked when we are out of work: “What do you do?”. It is a strange quirk of our society that we define ourselves first and foremost by the work we do. Being unemployed can leave us feeling out-of-place and uncomfortable, and can even lead to avoidance of social gatherings and, therefore, networking opportunities.
I’ve interviewed a lot of people who find being out of a job a real social challenge. This is particularly the case amongst those who are in their 40s or 50s and have only had one or two jobs. People in this group have often defined themselves both by their career and by the company they used to work for; leaving a long-term job can be a double-whammy and a real blow to the confidence.
But there are ways to deal with this awkward situation, and even to turn it to your advantage. Here are five ideas:
Get creative
A good way to lighten the situation is to be creative in the way that you describe your situation. There are the old favourites like ‘between jobs’ and ‘extended break’. But perhaps you can come up with a fresher approach. ‘Mr. Mum’ (where relevant), ‘my own boss’, ‘dealing with a mid-life crisis’ or ‘studying poverty’.
Be honest
If you are honest about your situation you might be surprised where the conversation goes. Many of us have a perception that we are the only person to have been made redundant, when in fact most people will lose their job at some point in their career. So explaining that you are an out-of-work accountant might prompt a frank – and useful - sharing of experiences.
Focus on your skills
Remember that conversations like this are, in fact, networking opportunities. You never know how the person you are talking to might be able to help you. So rather than simply saying that you are an unemployed engineer, see if you can drop some of your skills and experience into the conversation. ‘Project management’, ‘advanced computer skills’, ‘mechanical wizard’. This makes it easier for the person you are talking to recognise how you might fit into an opportunity they are aware of.
Be open to new ideas
A trick to effective job search is to open your mind to a broader range of opportunities. We can easily get stuck on finding another job very similar to the one we have left, but this is very limiting. So steer the conversation to what other people do, how their industry works, what other sorts of people they work with. Any of these things could prompt a possibility in your mind.
Talk about other stuff
If you’ve really had enough job talk, then simply steer the conversation in another direction. “I’m not working at the moment, but I did go to the football on Saturday. Do you follow football?”. “I’m unemployed, so I’m going to lots of movies. Have you seen the latest Star Trek?”. Or get your new acquaintance to talk about themselves – most people like doing that.
When you’re job hunting, any opportunity to tell others about your situation is a chance to gain some information or to make a useful connection. Networking like this leads many people into new jobs. So whatever you do, don’t avoid social situations. Rather, keep experimenting until you find a comfortable way of describing your situation.
This article was written for Classifind.com.au
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I've been work- ing in business, one way or another, for the last 20 years, and writing for the last ten. My main interest now is to get messages across - yours and mine - in a readable and approachable fashion. 
