I’m very lucky. I live in a healthy democracy in which politicians always abide by the umpire’s decision. In which bent politicians are outnumbered by stupid ones, rather than the other way around. In which, with a modicum of common sense, I can say what I like.  In which the greatest imposition on my liberty is the obligation to turn up to the local school on election day and buy a sausage in bread. The system ain’t perfect, but it’s pretty damn good.

So why do I cringe whenever an election is called? Three reasons. There are three things that really get my goat as a modern Australian election campaign grinds into action.

Number one: speculation as news. It has been said that the media is really only interested in two things: leadership challenges and elections (by which measure they’ve had a hell of a twelve months). Why? Because those two things allow the media to do what it loves best: present speculation as news.

Newspapers and news bulletins are supposed to report the ‘news’, that is, new stuff that has just happened. Reporting what is about to happen and endless speculation about what might happen is not news.

Today, my daily newspaper has an eight page lift-out plus four pages of election ‘news’. The vast majority of that coverage is not news: it’s speculation. Truth is, bugger all actually happens during an election campaign. So the experts take over. They’re having a ball. Column after column about what might happen in this election, what the latest polling really means and who might stand where during the inevitable debates. All of it speculation.

I like politics, and I don’t mind a bit of speculation. But elections have simply become a lazy opportunity to fill copious column inches without looking for real news.

Number two: weasel words. PM Julia Gillard took the lead on this one. Her opening speech to the Australian people contained the phrase ‘moving forward’ no less than 24 times. This wouldn’t necessarily be a problem – Barack Obama made repetition an artform – except that the phrase itself is as tired and worn out as Ricky Ponting’s baggy green. But rest assured, Gillard won’t be alone. Stand by for non-stop drivel from all sides of politics over the coming weeks as politicians large and small try to say as much as they can without actually saying anything at all. (I’ll be following #weaselwords on Twitter to keep abreast of this one. Feel free to join me and be sure to add your own.)

Number three: the presidential-style campaign. This might be a bit pedantic, but I object to the modern trend which sees our Westminster system of government being sent to the backbenches during election campaigns. In Australia, as in the U.K. and various other countries, we don’t elect our prime minister. Via elections for local representatives we elect a party to government, which then chooses the prime minister from its amongst its number.

Increasingly, however, this seems to be forgotten as the Westminster system is replaced by the Australian Idol system. Elections are now battles of personality between the party leaders. In this election, judging by the lack of even a party logo on the first TV advertisements, the presidential approach to electoral success looks like being ramped up further still.

Why is this a problem? Because it makes the colour of a leader’s hair, or their Speedos, more important than what they believe in. Because it causes the parties to create policies which cancel each other out, rather than countenance real change for the better, as they try desperately to make those policies politically invisible. Because, in short, it dumbs down the electorate.

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My 14 year old daughter is developing a healthy interest in what’s going on around her, including politics. I’d like to be able to set a good example during this election and be seen to weigh up the pros and cons of each side’s arguments. It’s going to be a slog.

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